Building a healthy baby and maintaining a healthy mama requires attention to nutrition.  Processed foods do little to support our bodies, providing only empty calories and preservatives.  Making healthy food choices in pregnancy can lead to improved nutrition for your family throughout the lifespan.  The journey of healthy eating usually begins with education-learning about the importance of minerals and vitamins, the accessibility of nutrients in specific foods, and healthy cooking. The next step takes place at the grocery store.

Choosing fresh produce that is seasonal and local, whenever possible, will increase the nutritional value in your food. Be aware of the temptation to overload the cart with too many good choices, which can often rot in the fridge if you don’t eat them quickly.  Smaller and more frequent purchases can ensure that your food is fresh when you prepare a meal.  Most big cities around the globe have farmers markets and fruit and vegetable stands along major routes, but in the U.S., we often have to drive to a supermarket to find our produce.  This inconvenience can be a barrier to getting fresh fruits and vegetables regularly, but this can be overcome by growing your own food, even just one or two plants, and locating a farmers market nearby.  Autumn is a bountiful season in most locales, so it is a good time to visit a farmer and learn about seasonal foods.

Pregnant women must be sure to eat foods containing plenty of  protein, calcium and iron.  All of these nutrients are available through plants.  Soybeans are a complete protein and dried apricots contain high amounts of iron.  Calcium can be found in leafy greens and legumes.  Vegan mothers must find a supplemental source of B vitamins, especially B12.  Vegetarian mothers can add farm eggs to their menu three days a week to boost protein and omegas.  Yogurt is another whole protein source.  Choosing grass fed beef and antibiotic and hormone free chicken are safe alternatives to eating meat from concentrated feed lots, where the meat may be tainted, high in genetically modified corn products, and full of chemicals.

Making nutritional changes in pregnancy can benefit your entire family for life.

As we’re gearing up for a busy school year ahead, it is important for moms to take time for themselves, too.  To some moms, just getting time alone for a shower once a day is a welcome escape from taking care of others.  This is often the case when raising infants and toddlers.  Although the kids’ needs usually come first, there is wisdom in caring for yourself.  Loving yourself and nurturing yourself are good habits for life.  They model healthy psychosocial development for our children, as well. This doesn’t mean that I advocate putting the kids needs after yours on a regular basis.  That is for each family to decide based on their personal values and beliefs about child-rearing.  Rather, I’m advocating that as a mother, self-care is essential because mothering takes a lot of creative energy, and you can’t continue to tap that resource unless you take time to refill the source.

Take a daily walk, if you can.  That is a good beginning.  Don’t take your cell phone with you unless you need it for emergencies.  This is quiet time for your brain and body to exhale.  Extend the walk a little bit each day until you feel that you’ve reached the right amount of time and distance for your mind/body.

Write down your thoughts each day-in whatever form you wish.  This simple practice allows you to purge your thoughts and ideas, and think with more clarity.  You may have some welcomed creative outbursts, as well.  A daily journal entry of 1 page is a good place to start.

Give yourself something beautiful.  You will decide what it is.  For some moms, a massage is the perfect gift.  For others, a new skein of yarn or a cup of tea in the garden will suffice.  Some times require different measures than others.  After a particularly difficult day, perhaps mom needs time to cuddle up with a good book and some dark chocolate.

Pay attention to your own needs.  Whatever the need may be, notice it.  Try not to judge, change, or dismiss it.  Allow it to show itself.  Try to give it a name, such as “rest” or “a night out” or “a distraction.” Think about how you can address that need, including a time that it will be addressed.  Try to meet your needs where they are-based on your own resources.  A trip to Hawaii may be within the reach of some in the immediate future, but most of us need to save and plan for such an extravagance.  A dip in the local swim hole with a girlfriend may satisfy the need for natural beauty and nature in the near future.

Self-care is an ongoing process, a skill like any other work we value.  Taking the time for self-care may be difficult if you allow yourself to feel unworthy or try to play the part of the martyr who needs little and serves all.  As tempting as this role can be, it is not advisable.  Martyrdom is not a behavior we want to see manifesting with our own children, so we should do away with it in our own lives.  Self-care is an ingredient for a happy life and happy family.

This time of year we feel especially drawn to give.  Giving to others is a way of deepening our community connections, offering our services to those in need without expectation, and allowing our potential for altruism to be expressed.  “Giving is more important than receiving” is a quote that I recall learning as a small child.  I’ve tried to model and teach this to my own children, but I also love getting gifts-especially symbols of appreciation.  Why do we need to express and receive appreciation, symbolically, or not?  Usually doing a job well is its own reward.  Parenting comes to mind.  You give your kids your time, energy, love.  You watch them grow and blossom.  It is enough.  Then, when a little one comes in bearing a handmade card with sincere messages and images of appreciation – the tears begin to fall.  There is such joy in giving and receiving.  It doesn’t have to be materialistic-despite what the economists say we should do.  Buying isn’t necessarily the best way to give.  It is a legitimate venue for showing appreciation, but it isn’t the only option this holiday.  Giving can be a  creative endeavor-or a simple intuitive act of kindness.  Receiving can also be an art-to open oneself to the love that is embodied in a gift-it makes your heart grow.  It is okay to receive the affection, admiration, and appreciation of others – and to love yourself a bit more in the process.

Taking care of babies or women with babies, for that matter, is an enviable job.  Motherhood is the most rewarding position, work and status.  Midwifery is much like motherhood, in that we watch women becoming mothers, nurturing their mothering instincts.  When the caretaker gives (and gives) selflessly, she requires a centered foundation that is, itself, cared-for.  As mothers and midwives, we must take time to nurture ourselves.

I remember hearing this from older (i.e. wiser) friends when my children were small, and although I knew there was truth in the sage words, I also had a defensive reaction-like the mother in me was being insulted, challenged, and questioned.  I felt that my first obligation was to my kiddos-making sure their needs were met, while mine could wait.  I didn’t feel that it was a “martyr thing”, either.  Rather, it was my calling to function daily at a high-level for my kids, regardless sleep deprivation, a sore back, or PMS.   It wasn’t until my kids were seeking more independence and peer interaction that I started taking time to nurture myself.  I joined an Artist From Within group and scheduled the occasional massage and practiced yoga or danced.

Now as a mother of adolescents, I’ve committed much of my nurturing to my clients, the women and babies that I serve daily.  Their needs are my priority and I extend myself to meet them.  Now self-care is also my priority, and it feels like I rise to a higher-level of functioning each time I take time for a  yoga class or walk around the lake.  “Refilling my well” through self-nurturing:  making my favorite dish for dinner, allowing myself to sleep in, reading for pleasure…these things, like little gifts to myself, give me momentum, clarity, joy and a healthy mental outlook.  I have a good attitude and no guilt!

So, nurturing the nurturer isn’t a narcissistic endeavor-an egotisitcal excuse to indulge self at the cost of others.  No.  Women can be their best at mothering and in partnership, in part by taking care of themselves.

I’ve attended a lovely stream of beautiful births in my practice over the fall.  It has been so inspirational watching 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th time mothers opening to birthing and baby.  Fathers are equally amazing to watch.  Many of my clients have had 1st time homebirths-a huge shift from their previous experiences in a clinical setting.  As Mamma begins to open fully, all hearts surround and support her.  She sways and moans to the rhythm of her baby descending into the world and we wait with baited breath.  Soon, Mamma’s body will guide baby as the little one dances through the birth canal into newness.  When the baby’s head is first visible, joyful excitement swirl-time seems to stop.  The little one emerges, face pressed tightly closed at first.  As Mamma or Pappa reaches down to take baby, a huge opening-one that is nearly audible-emerges.  Fathers weep, laugh, and sigh, and coo.  Eyes light upon the new loved one.  A hush sweeps through the room and baby opens up to belonging.  Aha!  I am here!  I’ve always been here!  YOU~

The central role of a midwife is gentle caring. A woman and her family present their challenges to you at various stages of the childbirth year. Midwives must always be open and take time to listen. This is perhaps the most important quality of gentle caring. When a woman feels safe in opening up, she learns from herself. We are there to witness her growth. We don’t have control over her journey, nor can we navigate it for her. It is hers alone. Being there for women in times of need is an honor. Recognizing the central importance of listening and showing sincere compassion is the midwife’s job. It can be challenging to be truly present all the time, but it is a quest we must all challenge ourselves to meet if we are drawn

In the past year I’ve had a few clients with breastfeeding challenges. Specifically, these involve a baby who has difficulty with latch or sucking. The best resources that I’ve found are La Leche League’s The Breastfeeding Answer Book and the experienced lactation consultant. As a midwife, I provide full breastfeeding support to my clients, and it is well documented that clients of midwives have a significantly higher rate of breastfeeding success than women attended by physicians birthing in hospitals. I provide breastfeeding education prenatally, as well as access to my library of breastfeeding books. Although every situation is different, it is preferable for the baby to latch on with the mother’s gentle guidance soon after the birth. I often assist with first-time mothers with this process. When I visit on the 1st, 3rd and 5th day after the birth, breastfeeding support is often the primary focus of my work.

Yet, when a young baby is born early or when a baby has a structural barrier to effective breastfeeding, I turn to my resources. The nipple shield and a product known as “The Breast Friend.” have been effective tools in overcoming initial latch and suck problems, in addition to some brief training on the gloved-pinkie-finger. Latching is easier on Mom when she hand-expresses a bit of milk to soften nipple and to motivate the baby to “nipple” the drops that are excreted. Patience is a key component to successfully overcoming these challenges. Babies need time to learn, and so do mommies.

Midwives who watch, wait and encourage, offering appropriate suggestions in a manner that is non-intrusive and non-critical, can be a great comfort and source of information and support to new mothers and babies. Another resource that I’ve been utilizing in my practice is peer mentoring. Moms who have overcome similar challenges are the best teachers for new mothers who are frustrated, yet determined to establish successful breastfeeding. Sometimes I turn to those with the extra training and experience with breastfeeding challenges, the lactations consultants and La Leche League. A talented lactation consultant can bring a higher level of knowledge and additional tools on board to assist the family. Often, just one meeting with a consultant is all it takes for the mother to implement the suggestions and master techniques. La Leche League can offer a supportive community to the family and invaluable literature to both practitioners and new mothers.

Breastfeeding is a central component to healthy infant development. Assuring that my clients have every resource that they need to achieve successful breastfeeding is critical to my midwifery care. Sometimes, this entails bringing in another professional.

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